Wintering Within

In the past, I would have defined it as being in a rut, or a funk of sorts.

I may have even thought of it as a mild depression.

You know what I’m talking about right?  It’s a lack of wanting to do the things. Any of the things.  It’s a feeling of being uninspired, unmotivated, and sort of lost or scattered.

This isn’t all that new.  I have felt it before, but the difference this time is, I leaned into it instead of trying to ignore it or push it away.

I decided that I was just going to Winter.  So, I’ve been Wintering.

While it is seasonally related as well, having much to do with the natural rhythms of nature, a Wintering can happen anytime.  When it is not seasonally related, it has to do with a fallow period of time that one finds themselves in… a place of grief, rejection, displacement, confusion or failure.  Many different life circumstances can bring these Winters on, but the emphasis should be less on what causes them, and more on allowing for the natural progression of healing through them.

When I first started leaning into my own Wintering, I embraced it during this time of actual coldness & snow, while also coming to realize that I should have been Wintering for a long time now.  Many events have contributed to my need to take a hibernation of sorts, to Winter, but I have deliberately ignored the inner knowing to do so, choosing instead to carry on as expected. Just push through, as they say.

There have been a lot of things in the past few years that I have just pushed through…trudged my way forward in.  Constantly trying to live in the resistance of the Wintering and just keep on keepin’ on.

But what we fail to forget is that in the healing that Wintering provides, a profound and insightful knowing can begin to emerge.  We begin to see things as less urgent when we allow ourselves to set down what we thought was so important so we can see what actually is. We can show up for ourselves and give ourselves some grace and the mental and physical rest we actually need.

The actual season of Winter is so true to form.  The way it slows down, goes dormant and dark.  I’m beginning to feel this pull to schedule this official Wintering every year, whether it’s an emotional time for Wintering or just a seasonal one.  It’s definitely both for me this year.

I will say however, that even though it feels right, that doesn’t mean it’s easy.  In a culture that is hustle centric and focused on productivity and tangible evidence of progression, it’s easy to feel shame or guilt for the Wintering that you need.

Do yourself a favor. Just don’t. 

Subscribe to the newly realized truth that you do not have to earn, justify or validate your need for Wintering.  Just like love, it should be given and received freely without feeling like one must qualify for it.

So much of our growth in life comes from periods of stillness, or reflection. During times of solitude, or when we remove the noises that overstimulate us. 

It’s that growth or those lights that come on in the darkness that let us know the Wintering is coming to an end.  Spring is coming and there is much to do…even if we choose to do it slowly.  Remember that Wintering is only meant to be a season, not your whole one precious life.  

Step gently and with care; but do take the step.  You will know you are ready when the embers within begin to burn, even if ever so slightly.  You are here on purpose, for a purpose.  Winter is only a reminder our purposes require nurturing if they are to bloom. They then need the awakening of Spring to flourish.

If you found this entry helpful to you, please do share it. We should make sure more of us know we aren’t alone and that Wintering is welcome and needed. As always, your thoughts and feedback are welcome and encouraged!

Note: While it is an inner knowing that only requires you to listen in order to hear it, there is actual information on Wintering, and one of those resources is the wonderful book, Wintering, The Power of Rest & Retreat During Difficult Times, By Katherine May.  It is a beautiful read and speaks very accurately on the topic of Wintering.