3 Ways to Dismiss Imposter Syndrome

Hey guys, it’s Sarah, your host of What’s on Your Plate?.

Who the hell do I think I am? Why am I telling myself that I can when everyone else is just going to think and know that I cannot. I’m completely unqualified. I don’t have all my ducks in a row. And you know, I don’t even have any ducks at all. I have squirrels and they’re all running amok everywhere. Why would anyone wants to listen to anything that I have to say? I’m a fraud, and everybody’s going to judge me and know it. Does This voice sounds like something similar that’s in your own head. You’re definitely not alone. It’s imposter syndrome. And it’s real. And it shows up every damn day. The biggest mistake we make is listening to the lies we tell ourselves. The ones that tell us we aren’t enough, or egos that hold nothing back in trying to intimidate us every damn day. About 20 years ago, I found myself entering a new career path that I literally knew nothing about. And never planned for it. Never dreamed about it. I certainly didn’t do anything to prepare for it. It was an amazing place to be in that they took a chance on someone like me, and was willing to train from the ground up. During one of those early training sessions, I remember very distinctively another team member questioning herself being really vulnerable enough to say out loud that she was nervous because she didn’t have much experience. My manager at the time said something that has really stuck with me, and I’ll never forget it. They don’t know what you don’t know. They don’t know what you don’t know. In other words, you don’t have a huge sign on your head saying no experience unqualified impostor. She wasn’t saying this to tell us to try to pretend that we were qualified in a way that we weren’t. But to give us permission to be just right where we were at in our training and even in our lives. And to not feel like we had to announce ourselves somehow as being unfit or unworthy, just because we didn’t know anything yet. Over the years, my thoughts have come back to that moment many times over. And it reminds me to give myself permission to never not do something just because I’m new, or because I lacked confidence, or because I’m afraid. My careers in dentistry and culinary my time as a coach and in teaching, and running and being a cake artist, all of these things have been something that I have pursued in a learn as I go type of scenario. And I think that’s perfectly okay. I feel like if you’re afraid of something, you should definitely do it. It’s even more reason to just step into that unknown. And, you know, I love the fact that I don’t know what I don’t know, because it gives me an opportunity to learn to explore more about what I don’t know and to educate myself and gain new perspective. I don’t ever want to stop growth. What a burden it would be if someone really didn’t know everything and how uninspiring it must be for them. The other side of this coin, though, is the fear. How can we set that aside? What about that fear? What does that bring up for you? I know for myself, the biggest fear that surrounds impostor syndrome is that people are going to judge me…. they are because that’s just the human in many of us. I’m actually okay with leaving learning as I go. It’s the not having the experience and answers that drives me to pursue new experiences. But it’s the Who the hell does she think she is or God, what the hell is she doing now? Why do I feel that way? Why do I even care? I know deep down that at the end of the day, I really have never let others opinions stop me from pursuing what I want, and especially in recent years, that’s true. As I really look deeper into myself, I need to ask myself an uncomfortable question. Be really honest with myself. And that is my fear of judgment, a projection of my own behavior. Do I inflict the same judgments that I myself fear? I find such joy in encouraging and sharing on other people. But maybe my own insecurities subconsciously make me criticize the paths others are on. It’s an awareness at least to check myself every time any of those thoughts prevent. I honestly think if they do arise, it’s because of my own insecurities or envy and wanting some version of what someone else has. We all have them, these insecurities, and that’s okay. What matters is that we just see them for what they are, acknowledge them, work through them, and hopefully, ultimately dismiss them. “She succeeded not because she was without fear, but because she did it all despite and even because of the fear.” I don’t know who originally wrote that quote, who originally said those words, but I remind myself of them daily, I look at that, quote, often, just as a mental note, to push through the things that are making me uncomfortable. I thought it appropriate for this very first episode, to be transparent about what has delayed this podcast from launching…it’s imposter syndrome. The imposter in me shows up daily just like it probably does for you. I hope this can become a place where you and I can both let our guards down a bit and be honest about what gets in the way of just doing the damn thing and stepping into a better version of ourselves that helps us serve our purposes, through our open minds and our open hearts. Some stories, you’ll hear our personal journeys from many people whom I respect and admire. Sometimes, I will just be talking to you about what’s on my heart that day, and hoping that it resonates with somebody in the same way it does with me. I really hope that we can find some peace together some knowledge, open up a dialog for questions so we can seek answers to or at the very least new perspective on. Whenever impostor syndrome creeps in, I’m going to remind myself of these three things. Number one, every product, every service has started with someone taking action, taking steps and failing many, many times over. And then starting many many times over again. If not you then who? Step into what scares you. Number two, it is none of my damn business what other people think of me, their perspective of me and my life, my choices and my journey has nothing to do with my actual truth for the purpose I am trying to serve. Number three… I deserve to be here, period. That’s it. The space I take up is mine. And it’s always been reserved just for me. Wherever I am, I’m supposed to be here. Thanks for joining me today. I hope that this has been a good experience for you and I’ll see you again soon. I’ll see you here every Thursday.